Understanding Eating Disorders Through a Relational Lens

When someone develops an eating disorder, they often find themselves caught in a painful relationship—not just with food or their body, but with themselves and others. While medical perspectives tend to focus on symptoms and behaviours, a relational understanding helps us see how these struggles often emerge from early experiences, unmet emotional needs, and difficulties in relationships.

The Language of the Body

Eating disorders speak in the language of the body, but they tell stories about the heart and mind. What looks like a battle with food often masks deeper struggles: perhaps with feeling safe in the world, expressing emotional needs, or maintaining a sense of self. When we listen carefully, we hear that restricted eating, binging, or purging may be attempts to manage overwhelming feelings or to communicate what feels impossible to say in words.

Beyond Behavioural Change

Traditional treatments often focus on changing eating behaviours and thought patterns. While these matter, lasting recovery typically requires something deeper—addressing the emotional and relational patterns that maintain the eating disorder. This might mean exploring:

• How early relationships shaped our sense of self.

• Ways we've learned to cope with difficult feelings.

• Patterns in current relationships that feel challenging.

• Difficulties with trust and emotional intimacy.

The Role of Therapy

Psychotherapy, particularly from a relational perspective, offers a unique space to understand these patterns. Unlike approaches that focus solely on symptoms, relational therapy helps people:

• Develop trust in relationships, including with the therapist.

• Find words for feelings previously expressed through food and body.

• Understand their eating disorder's protective function.

• Build new ways of relating to themselves and others.

A Team Approach Through a Relational Lens

While a treatment team often includes various professionals—therapists, doctors, and dietitians—what matters most is how these relationships support recovery. Each relationship offers different opportunities for:

• Learning to trust the care of others.

• Practicing new ways of expressing needs.

• Experiencing support without shame.

• Developing confidence in relationships.

The Path Forward

Recovery isn't linear, and it can't be rushed. Like any significant relationship, it takes time to build trust—with ourselves, with our support team, and with the recovery process itself. This journey often means gradually letting go of the eating disorder's familiar but limiting protection to risk new ways of being in relationship with ourselves and others.

Our practice in Camberwell offers a space where your story can be heard and understood beyond the symptoms. We believe that sustainable healing happens through relationships that honour both the struggle and the strength it takes to seek change.